Forgiveness: How I Healed From Chronic Illness
For nearly a year and a half, I suffered from a disabling chronic condition that kept me home bound and unable to work. Recently, I discovered the key to heal and end all of this suffering. It wasn’t through any diet, supplement, nutrition or medicinal regimen, although I read endless books and tried countless sources.
I healed because I went inside and connected to a source within myself to forgive and heal lifelong trauma. I’m hoping my story will allow others to heal their chronic conditions and find their way back to health and wellness. I know for many it feels hopeless while suffering from chronic conditions, because I was there at one time. However, I believe there is hope and healing for you.
20 months ago I found myself in the Emergency Room which began my disabling journey of chronic illness. My condition progressed (as most do) to muscle weakness, numbness, and occasional paralysis coupled with debilitating fatigue. I experienced every type of neurological dysfunction along with adrenal, hormonal and immunity failure.
I was devastated when my illness began. Although, I knew I was dealing with something serious, I had not envisioned that my condition would become chronic and force my life to a halt. Visiting doctor after doctor, getting little answers and no relief from the traditional medical community.
I began researching every holistic and alternative treatment available. I tried energy healing, massage therapy, acupuncture and other Traditional Chinese Medicine modalities. Every day I was looking up the benefits of particular supplements, nutrition and diets hoping to find the magic cure for my ailments.
Each one would present a new possibility of hope, only to find I would find marginal success and make incremental progress, only to crash again. I even went Paleo for a while, but that wasn’t enough to heal my body completely. Even before my symptoms started, I was someone who ate healthy and exercised regularly. However, I still felt incredibly sick and was unable to leave my house for much of the duration of the illness.
It wasn’t until I began doing behavioral therapy that I entertained the possibility my illness could be rooted in faulty belief systems and stored trauma in my body. I began reading more about the mind-body-spirit connection and realized as someone who was doing everything right according to textbook nutrition and palliative medical care, there had to be a missing link.
Through a series of events, I discovered an online spiritual community that helped me understand that our bodies are designed for perfect health, but forgiveness is required for healing to occur. I had been empathic my entire life, but I had also allowed old hurts and wounds to linger unconsciously. Even after spending months in traditional therapy, I knew there was more healing to accomplish.
I was determined that I was going to heal and forgive everyone including myself. It was a difficult process to let go of grievances, especially the most hurtful ones. However, as I would release each one, I began to feel lighter in body and spirit. I had stopped playing the victim in my life and was now ready to heal completely.
From there, the healing came. One day, I had a mystical experience that let me know I had a divine guide with me, and a heavenly realm was listening to my call for help. I felt led to keep working with my inner guide and intuition to remove every false belief and illusion that ever existed in my mind.
I systematically worked through beliefs about fear, anxiety, abandonment, guilt and shame. Every day I would ask what belief system needed to be addressed and would spend time praying and meditating to release these illusions. The things revealed to me during this process were astonishing. I had no idea some of the limiting beliefs I was holding onto. Many of them rooted in early childhood that had stayed with me for years. Things like, “I only feel joy when I eat sugar.” So for someone who had strategically removed sugar from her diet for the past 5 years, I was subconsciously feeling incredibly deprived.
It was not easy to address each of these subconscious fears, but as each day passed, I found myself getting stronger. To my amazement, about a week after the initial work began, I was even able to go for a short jog. The healing was transpiring at a very rapid pace. Friends and family became ecstatic regarding the incredible transformation in such a short time. The drastic change was undeniable and unexpected. I realized the maintenance of my health would require me to stay attuned to my inner guidance for my career, relationships and activities. I have surrendered full control trusting I am being guided towards my highest good and purpose in the world.
Months out, I am a brand-new person. My physical strength mirrors the emotional strength I now feel. My level of health and fitness feels better than before my symptoms began. I even changed how I approach eating. Before I would obsess about how many vegetables, macronutrients and calories I was eating and would not allow any sugar. Now I trust I am being guided by my intuition to eat what will nourish my body daily. I enjoy food and eating again, along with the ability to walk several miles and socialize with friends. I also gave up the arduous and expensive supplement routine because I feel much better without them.
What I have learned by healing my chronic illness, is there is nothing outside of you that is needed to heal. More than likely, nothing outside of you is going to be able to cure your condition, especially if you were like me and tried every treatment available on the market. The real work is going inside of yourself to attend to the soul wounds that attributed to your physical symptoms.