Monday Mantra: I AM STRONG

Monday Mantra: I AM STRONG

Monday Mantra: I AM STRONG

It was difficult for me to get to the line at Earthfare last night as we were checking out.  I wasn’t sure I had the energy to make it into the store, but Justin suggested he really wanted me to get a treat.  (That should tell you something about the diet restrictions of someone looking for a treat comprised of herbal adaptogens at the world’s healthiest grocer.)  My legs were starting to get tired and give out, but I thought if I could keep moving, my circulation would start to flow.  It did. 

My energy has improved, and overall it was a good day.  However, living with chronic illness is daily adventure.  Most mornings I wake up greeted with tingling in my left arm and leg and wonder when I put my feet down on the ground what I may discover.  Sometimes I think the mental energy over managing physical limitations like this and obsessing over things as simple as “should I be eating eggs?” causes a drain on the spirit and body.  So, you can imagine by the time 7 pm rolls around, the tank is getting low.  

When we got to the express lane, there was only one couple in front of us.  Good! I can do this.  Immediately, I noticed the cheery disposition of the cashier, Alex, as we are checking out.   Alex is young has dyed jerry curls and a nose ring hook.  He is telling the blonde girl in workout clothes in front of me, “Monday Mantra. I am Strong!”  She looks less than thrilled, barely mustering a half-smile.  She seems more interested in signing on her American Express than receiving the conventional wisdom at hand.  In that instant, I want to judge her, but I cannot.  I want her to realize that in this exact moment, this is decidedly the message she needs to hear.  That every moment we can enter into the present, we are handed exactly what we need from the universe. 

I have certainly been that tired woman not wanting to make small talk with a chatty cashier, but not tonight.  Something about his kindness and persistence when met with this type of common rudeness has my attention.  I am like a crouching tiger, ready to catch my prize.  I do not care if this sentiment is corny or uncool.  If she does not want to be reminded of her strength, I certainly do.  I desperately need this reminder. My survival hinges on this particular affirmation. If the mitochondria in my cells have stopped fueling my body-engine, his spirit has whatever spark they need to fuel my battery.

As I get to the line, I am eagerly thanking him for his positivity and energy, and feel like I’m starting to tear up.  I am not sure he really understands my desperation of spirit that needed to hear those words. He’s probably wondering why something so simple and unassuming could make a complete stranger want to jump the partition and hug him tightly.  He tells us that if he can provide a smile and kindness on his job, he is doing a service to the community.  Again, I think to myself, you have no idea the gift you have given me tonight.   

I feel instantly better, like I received a fresh charge to my body and spirit. I quietly give thanks for trusting my intuition to keep walking that evening.   As we were exiting out to the parking lot, Justin said, you were meant to hear that from Alex tonight.  I agree with him wholeheartedly, and smile to myself “Monday Mantra, I Am Strong”

 

 

 

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