Woman: Find Your Anger, Throw the Rocks, and Speak Your Truth
Yesterday, I found my feminine anger.
She had been beckoning me for a long time, to rise-up like a tigress, ready to unleash all that stored energy. All the personal and collective trauma buried for years had been collecting like magma underneath the surface of a geyser. The magma that I had pushed down so far, a fire no longer kindled within me. But the last few months have been a tipping point, finding my spirit, and letting her say all the things that need to be given words. To let that eruption of holy water burst and cleanse the air with the steam of her truth.
And so, like generations of women who have not been allowed to speak their truth for decades, the anger of my repressed experiences finally erupted.
The geyser of the female warrior within said, “I must honor the anger for all the times my experience was invalidated and shamed. My inherent right as a human being, having this human experience on planet earth, grants me the dignity and respect of owning my truth and having my experience validated. There is much that needs to be said on behalf of women and marginalized people in the world, and my truth contributes to that narrative."
The truth of the gaping gender wound that resided deep within the marrow of body that made me feel unworthy of saying anything that could possibly disappoint or make anyone else uncomfortable. It made me question if it was a mistake to be born a girl, and forced me into a mold of masculine power and patriarchy that almost killed me. It made me run from telling my entire story—the one where I will speak about all the bullshit that led up to making me horribly sick.
The bullshit that haunts every woman born into this culture. The culture that hands her one template that she is permitted to exist within. The culture that shames and damns she who dare threaten the status quo. The culture that tells her she is less than the men around her. The culture that makes her question her own intuition and emotions. The culture that makes her think her body is meant for the pleasure and objectification from others. The culture that tells her not to be too intelligent. The culture that tells her she is sinful. The culture that makes her think she needs to improve herself to the point of neurotic obsession and frenzy. The culture that makes her feel crazy when everyone else seems so cool about it all. The culture that tell her she is disrespectful any time she tries to talk about the pain, the struggle, the grief. The grief of what is means to be born a woman in a society that is so sick, and toxic and in denial…
…and then, be commissioned as a truth-teller in a world that wants her to be invisible.
And so, like a wild woman finally rising into another level of her warrior power, I went outside and screamed and stomped my feet and threw rocks as hard as I could into the wooded abyss behind my house, and didn’t give one fuck if anyone was watching. I released every ounce of rage and fury for every person that ever told me that, “I was too sensitive, emotional, hysterical or crazy for what I witnessed” and promised myself I would never listen to those fucking lies again. And I left feeling strong, knowing my time of not expressing my full truth was over…
Because, I am here to give voice to the anger that generations and millennia of women have experienced. The anger that is never allowed to be fully expressed, left unhealed and then transferred to a new generation of daughters left to submit and numb to the patriarchy. It is my story, but it is also the story of my ancestors and the story of millions of women alive right now.
And so, the anger must be honored and released so it does not continue the cycle of unconscious pain that gets spewed and dumped on other people. I had long been a recipient of that type of anger, as so many women and children have, allowing myself to be bullied and abused for years by people who’ve repressed their own pain. No, this anger honors truth and experience which needs to be sublimated from your body and used as a holy catalyst for change. It’s necessary to rise into love.
Now that the rising has begun, my spirit has full command, and she speaks unrestrained truth. Her bullshit meter is on point, and her sword pierces the lies handed down to me. So following her guidance and surrendering to the universe's call..
Which right now, because one of the most dangerous, rampant lies I believed is that anger is wrong and unbecoming for a woman,
I'm here to say:
"Sisters, find your anger and speak your truth. "